


When Snow Falls

by nineofcupsnpc, ruibin (angsthao)



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mention of Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:32:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nineofcupsnpc/pseuds/nineofcupsnpc, https://archiveofourown.org/users/angsthao/pseuds/ruibin
Summary: Fan Chengcheng copes up with the loss of his sister, Bingbing, through his friend Minghao. A year after they started becoming friends, Chengcheng learns something from Minghao that would lead him to truly accept and heal from his loss, as well as become a better person with a passion in the process.✧ ✧ ✧Prompt:#45: "Imaginary friend!au where Justin is Chengcheng's best friend. His only friend. There at Chengcheng's lowest to make him smile, there to listen to him, there to make him feel like he's not alone but why is it?Why do they keep wanting Justin to disappear? Why bring him to the doctors? He's not crazy, he just wants to be with Justin."





	When Snow Falls

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thanks for giving my fic a shot! This is my first time joining a fic fest and I’m really nervous how my fics would turn out, but I hope you guys will like it! This was a challenging fic for me, perhaps because I made it a little complicated than I usually write. I do like how this turned into acceptance and self growth in the end, and I hope you guys will like it too. Anyway, I won’t make this long. Happy reading!

Chengcheng sheds tears as he looks at the snow falling outside. It's the day before Christmas but he doesn't seem to be lively at all. He feels alone, lonely, and hopeless even if his parents are at home preparing for Christmas day.

 

“Cheng, stop crying. I'm here. I'll always be here.”

 

He feels someone pat his shoulder gently, as if someone he longs for is right beside him. He turns around and sees someone who's been with him while he heals.

 

“Thank you, Minghao,” he says in between sniffs. “I-it… it still hurts. Bingbing should've been with us this day. We should've been complete on Christmas last year…”

 

“I'm sorry for your loss, Cheng. But there's nothing we can do right now. We can't turn back time to save your sister, but I'm proud that you are coping with her loss no matter how hard it is for you.”

 

Chengcheng cries harder.

 

A year has passed after the death of Chengcheng's dearest sister, Bingbing. They were heading home that night to celebrate Christmas as a complete family, however they were involved in a car accident. Snow fell hard that night. Chengcheng's mother was worried and asked his father to stop over in a nearby place but his father insisted to go home. A car was heading towards their lane. Chengcheng's father was able to steer away from coming car but not from the post that was near them. The impact of the accident affected everyone's condition. The ambulance was able to bring the family to the hospital for immediate actions, but unfortunately Bingbing wasn't able to make it.

 

This is the reason why Chengcheng dislikes Christmas, most especially snow.

 

“Chengcheng, are you crying again?” His mom asks as she approaches him. “Do you miss her?”

 

“I do… a lot. We'll never be complete anymore.”

 

His mother hugs him. He cries again because of that. “I'm sad too, baby. Your dad is sad too. Christmas will never be the same again, but we have to move forward. It's hard without her, but it's harder if we don't accept what happened and move on.”

 

Chengcheng only nods. He tries his best to digest what his mother says: he has to move forward. He has to accept that his sister will never be back at all.

 

“I’ll leave you for a while to continue preparing for tomorrow, okay? You can go back to your room if you want,” his mother says and kisses his forehead.

 

Chengcheng heads back to his room and sees Minghao lying down on his bed. “Hey, why did you leave me earlier?”

 

“I was afraid to ruin your moment with your mom,” Minghao answers truthfully.

 

Chengcheng sadly smiles. “It's okay, Minghao. My mom would be happy to meet you.”

 

Minghao shakes his head and diverts the topic. He talks about his celebration of Christmas, talking about how he spends the day with his parents at home and how they would exchange gifts with each other. He also talks about how he enjoys the snow but he stops midway when he remembers that Chengcheng hates snow.

 

“I'm sorry for mentioning it,” Minghao sincerely apologizes.

 

Chengcheng shyly smiles. “No, it's okay. I was gonna ask myself if you guys were complete anyway.”

 

“Well… we usually are complete. My grandparents come over sometimes.”

 

“I'm glad your family is complete. That's the only thing I could ask for. I hope you celebrate your Christmas happily with your family,” Chengcheng says, sincerely happy to hear his friend celebrates Christmas as a family.

 

“You can visit Bingbing tomorrow if you want,” Minghao suggests. “You'll still be complete tomorrow in a way.”

 

For the first time in a while, Chengcheng's face lights up. A faint glow appears in his eyes. He smiles, his teeth showing. “Thank you, Minghao! You're clever,” he says as he hugs Minghao.

 

“No worries, Cheng. Just doing my best to make you smile,” Minghao says as he hugs back.

 

Chengcheng suggests to visit Bingbing to his parents which make them ecstatic.  _ “Why didn’t we think of this earlier?” _ His mother asks. Chengcheng is happy that his parents are fine and the thought of it makes him less sad for the rest of the day.

 

The following day comes. The Fan family heads to Bingbing to celebrate Christmas as Chengcheng wished. He feels home as he sees Bingbing’s grave. He thinks that Bingbing is watching over them, making them feel safe. “Is Christmas better there?” Chengcheng asks privately. “I hope you’re doing well wherever you are. I miss you a lot. I hope you continue watching over us.”

 

He feels better after visiting Bingbing but he also wonders where Minghao is. He hasn’t seen Minghao the whole day so he thinks that his friend is celebrating Christmas with his own family. “I bet he’s having a great time today,” he tells himself.

 

He smiles at the thought that his friend is celebrating Christmas just like how he does with his family.

 

* * *

 

“Are you ready for the New Year?” Chengcheng’s dad asks him.

Chengcheng smiles and nods. “Surprisingly, I’m excited to face the New Year with a smile.”

He feels so much better after visiting Bingbing. He admits that he may not be in the best condition yet, that he still cries when he misses her, but he strongly feels that he’ll slowly move on and heal. He’s slowly accepting the loss of his sister which is a good start for him to move forward.

He also feels a lot better thanks to his friend Minghao. He’s been with him this whole time and he’s thankful to have a friend like him. Minghao comforts him whenever he misses Bingbing. Minghao also gives him strength when he feels that he’s slowly moving on from the accident.

“Hey! I’m here!”

Chengcheng looks behind to see Minghao all ready to celebrate New Year with them. “Oh, you’re here! Aren’t you supposed to be with your family?”

“How can I not be here with you?” Minghao asks back. “Besides, it’s going to be a year since we’ve started seeing each other!”

Chengcheng smiles again. “You’re right, it’s going to be a year. And I thank you for sticking with me through my hardest year yet. I thought I was hallucinating at first, to be honest. I’m glad that we’re celebrating New Year together.”

Minghao hugs him. “Happy New Year, Chengcheng! May the New Year bring positivity to your life, and I hope that you receive more blessings too!”

Chengcheng hugs back. “I wish you the same, Minghao. Happy New Year!”

“Chengcheng?”

He finds the person calling him, only to find his mother looking confused. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

“Are you alright? You’re hugging the air, sweetie.” His mother asks.

Chengcheng scratches the back of his neck and answers, “I’m fine, mom! I’m just hugging my friend.”

“F-friend? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure!” Chengcheng replies happily.

His mother smiles awkwardly and lets him be. Chengcheng proceeds to talk again to Minghao as if nothing happened.

“M-maybe we should see each other less often,” Minghao says, looking down at the ground.

“Eh, what’s wrong?” Chengcheng asks as he gestures Minghao to face him. “What’s with the sudden change of mood?”

Minghao tries to look back. “I-I don’t know. Don’t mind me! Let’s just celebrate the New Year together!”

Chengcheng’s parents are starting to countdown to the New Year so he joins them. Minghao secretly approaches Chengcheng without his parents knowing. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” They all shout together.

Chengcheng’s father lights up the fireworks that he set up prior to counting down. His parents start greeting each other and then they proceeded to greet him. He greets him back. He never forgets to greet Minghao as well.

“Happy New Year, Minghao. I hope we become friends for a long time,” Chengcheng sincerely says.

Minghao only returns a smile.

  
  


Chengcheng starts his new year not as he wished he would. 

He and Minghao started to have a weird system with each other. They were initially fine. Minghao would still come over at Chengcheng’s house and play or talk with him. But as the days progressed, they would start fighting. Minghao would still visit Chengcheng but he would say to Chengcheng that  _ “this isn't right”  _ without explaining. That would make Chengcheng confused and he would ask questions about it. But Minghao refuses to answer and they would end up fighting. They would still make up and apologize at the end of the day, and the cycle would continue. 

It doesn't make sense but they still make it work. 

“I'm so confused now. Why are you always saying that  _ this _ isn't right? What do you mean by  _ this _ , our friendship? Minghao, I thought we're cool. What's wrong again?” Chengcheng asks, confusion evident in his tone.

Minghao, who is about to leave his room, stops in front of the door. “You don't understand,” he says without looking back. 

“Then let me understand! We're running around circles again!”

Minghao faces to Chengcheng. He looks at the latter with worry. “What if… what if I wasn't real?” he asks, question barely audible for Chengcheng to hear.

“You are real,” Chengcheng answers sternly. “I can feel you. I can see you. Why are you saying you're not?”

Minghao sighs. He goes back to Chengcheng’s bed and sits. “See, this is why you'll never understand.”

“W-why?” Chengcheng asks in confusion. He's desperate for answers. He's tired of Minghao telling him that something isn't right. He's tired of all the fighting they've been doing. He just wants him and Minghao to go back to the times they're happy.

“What won't I understand? I'm so tired of arguing over something I don't know. Can you tell me what's wrong, at least? So I don't look like a fool here,” he asks in frustration.

Minghao takes a deep breath and tells Chengcheng the truth. “I'm  _ not _ real.”

“WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE REAL, MINGHAO! You're more real than everyone I know!” Chengcheng argues back, trying his best not to raise his voice at the nonsense.

“CHENGCHENG!”

He jolts in shock. He can feel himself shaking, not sure if it was from the shock of someone calling or the fact that Minghao told him he isn't real. He slowly looks at the person who called him. It is his mother looking pissed but concerned.

“M-mom… why are you here?” He asks, trying his best not to stutter. 

“Honey, are you alright?”

“I'm alright. I just had a fight with a friend but we'll be able to fix this by the end of the day,” he says as if the fight was something easy to fix.

His mother sighs and sits beside him. She worriedly says, “but Chengcheng, you're talking to yourself.”

_ What?  _

“You've been talking to no one the whole time,” his mother adds, as if she knows Chengcheng is asking her. “Your dad and I have been noticing you talking alone for quite some time already. We weren't bothered with it at first, but seeing you like this is starting to make us worry. You've been shouting alone recently. We thought you were playing your games… but this happened.”

“M-mom…” Chengcheng tries to retaliate. “I have a friend—”

“You never had a friend your whole life, Chengcheng,” his mother cuts him. “Do you remember the time we enrolled you in a regular school? You were always alone. People didn't approach you and you didn't approach other people either.”

“I… I don't understand. Minghao tells me our friendship is wrong, and now you're telling me I had no friends my whole life. I don't get it mom, why are you telling me this?” Chengcheng asks nervously.

His mother pats his back. “This isn't normal anymore, Chengcheng. You never talk alone until recently. We thought it was normal at first but now that it's making your mind a mess, we don't think it's healthy for you anymore,” his mother explains. “If we still observe this from you in a few days or weeks, I'm sorry but we may have to bring you to a rehabilitation center so you could heal.”

Chengcheng tries to hold back his tears. “Mom… why are you doing this to me?”

His mom smiles sadly. “We want you to heal. Be it your sister or your  _ friend _ , we want you to heal from them. We don't want you to be sad anymore. It's time, Chengcheng. You can't stay like this for long.”

He can't say a word.

He slowly grasps the blanket on his bed. He slowly grasps what his mom told him, slowly understanding everything she said.  _ Talking to no one, having no friends at all.  _ What does his mom mean? Why is his mom telling him these? Minghao's words also sink in.  _ This is not right, I'm not real. _ Why is Minghao telling him this? 

His mind can't take the mess anymore. He lies down on his bed, his vision slowly becoming blurry. He doesn't understand a thing. He's sure his mom and Minghao meant the best for him, but why does it feel like he's refusing the  _ best _ he should receive?

He notices his mom away from his room, and that is his cue to sleep his thoughts away…  _ or not _ .

He is able to sleep for almost three hours but he still lingers on those thoughts the moment he wakes up. He doesn’t understand what’s happening with him, with his mom, and with Minghao. He doesn’t understand why his new year starts off badly. He doesn’t understand why everything is a mess and how everything turned into a mess.

He wants to breathe. He wants to talk to Minghao and ask what went wrong. He also wants to talk to his mom and ask why she told him those things. He wants answers to his questions so bad.

But at the same time, is he  _ ready _ to hear their answers?

Chengcheng sighs. Whether he’s ready or not, he has to know the truth anyway.

“M-Minghao,” he calls him anxiously. “A-are you there?”

No one answered.

“M-Minghao, please… I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

Chengcheng scans around his room and finds Minghao by his table. He is relieved to see Minghao still with him despite the number of times they fought since the new year. He hugs him tightly as if he doesn’t want to let Minghao go. No, he really doesn’t want to let Minghao go no matter what happens.

“Minghao, I’m sorry for fighting you,” he says in between light sobs.

“No, Chengcheng, I’m sorry for not telling you the truth.” Minghao says as they release each other from hugging. “I’m sorry I made your life worse. I’m sorry I made things hard for you.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. You’re the best thing that has happened to me since I met you.”

“N-no, don’t say that. Please,” Minghao begs him. “Please don’t make it harder for the both of us.”

“W-why? Can you tell me this everything this time, please?”

“Are you sure you want to know the truth? Are you  _ ready _ to know the truth?” Minghao asks seriously. “There's a difference between wanting and being ready. Are you sure you really want to know?  _ Are you sure you want to let me go… _ ” Minghao whispers the last question.

“Let you… go?” Chengcheng asks “Minghao, what does that mean?”

Minghao sadly smiles. “I'm… I'm giving you time. I don't want to tell you everything I know unless you're ready. This is something serious, Chengcheng. As much as I want to let you know, if your heart and mind won't accept what I'll say it's no use telling you.”

“But if you tell me… that means you'll have to leave?” Chengcheng asks.

“I think I've done my part in helping you. It's now time for you to help yourself heal,” Minghao tells him. “I believe you can do it. Your parents believe in you too. We all want you to heal.”

Chengcheng remembers his sister. He has to  _ heal _ from the pain of losing his sister. Going back, he has to accept that his sister will never come back to him.

Now that he's looking back, he realizes that he's still stuck to where he is. Sure, he doesn't think of Bingbing anymore but he can't fully accept the fact that she died a year ago.

He lies down on his bed and stares at the ceiling. “Okay then, I'll let you know if I'm ready to hear everything.”

Minghao smiles. “That's a good start.”

 

* * *

 

 

Things lighten up after Chengcheng and Minghao's short conversation. They go back to their usual routine of playing and sharing stories to each other, but it is still evident that Minghao's tries to steer away from the pending conversation he has with Chengcheng. He thinks that is good for the meantime. He'll have to tell the truth to Chengcheng eventually, at least when the latter is ready.

Chengcheng doesn't forget about it. He still thinks about what Minghao was about to say that night. He's still desperate for answers, but he also think he isn't ready yet for that. Besides, he wants Minghao to stay a little longer. As much as he doesn't want to let go, he eventually will. He just decides to enjoy the time left while Minghao is still with him.

His mother still notices him talking to himself (that's what she says, not him) at times, but not to the point she hears him shouting. He's glad his mother doesn't mind a lot. It gives him peace to ponder on things.

“If ever I let you go, will I still see you someday?” Chengcheng asks while he and Minghao stare at the moon.

Minghao shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. I don't really have a say on those things, sadly. Why did you ask?”

“I… I don't know if I'm ready for that,” Chengcheng shares. “I'm ready for our pending talk, but I'm not ready for the consequence of that.”

Minghao holds his hand tight. “I'll always be a part of you even if you let me go,” he assures Chengcheng. “It's similar to your sister's case. She's still a part of you even if she's gone, right?”

Chengcheng nods. “I'm gonna miss you.”

“I'm going to miss you too,” Minghao says as he tries not to tear up. “Are you ready now?”

Chengcheng closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He nods, signaling Minghao to talk about it.

_ Chengcheng. I'm sorry, but I'm a figment of your imagination. No, scratch that. You did hallucinate about me. I was the last person you saw before you lost consciousness during the accident. You probably don't remember that clearly, so you associate me with something else. _

_ Let's say I'm your subconscious memory you had no idea that happened or you wanted to bury deep down in your memories. _

_ Your mom was right. You didn't have any friends while you were studying in a regular school. You were so attached with Bingbing to the point that you didn't make any friends. People didn't come close to you because they were scared of your aura. You got so used to being alone that it became a part of your system. You're used to being alone that you don't even complain about it. _

_ Then the accident happened. Bingbing was asleep during your car ride, remember? The impact landed on her the most. You almost felt you were dying because you were seated right beside her. Somehow, you were still conscious and you managed to look outside. You saw me that night approaching your car. You heard my mom call my name, Minghao, before you passed out. _

_ You started hallucinating about me around the past new year. You thought you'd only hallucinate once, but you hallucinated again after the new year so you thought of befriending “me”. You thought I was replying back to you, so you continued to talk to me. That's the first time you thought you actually had a friend. You thought that I did distract you from Bingbing's death, which partly was a good thing because you were able to get off from those thoughts. You managed to have “me” as your friend for a whole year, isn't that amazing? _

_ You were about to celebrate the new year with me, until your mom caught you talking to yourself. You were confused so “I” told you not to meet more often, because “I” can sense that something will go wrong. _

_ When “we” started fighting, that's when you started questioning about “our friendship”. I felt that it wasn't right. That was you thinking that this setting isn't right, but you were also denying it. You had an internal conflict yourself, Chengcheng. You wanted to keep me even if you knew that this thing isn't right. Your conflict got worse, and your parents eventually caught you. That's when your mom said she was going to bring you to the rehab. _

_ You wanted to talk about it with me, but “I” asked you if you were ready. You asked yourself if you were ready to accept the truth. “I” gave you time to think. You gave yourself time before you swallow these things as if these were pills you'd take. _

_ All this time, you were talking alone. You just knew about it when your parents caught you, that it lead to your own internal conflict. This whole thing? This is you letting things sink in.  _

Chengcheng lowers his head to wipe the tears that were coming out of his eyes. He can’t believe it, every single thing Minghao told him. He can’t believe that Minghao is only imaginary despite that one time when Minghao already hinted that he wasn’t real. He had a hunch when Minghao told him that but he decided to deny it.

He decided to deny the fact that he was deceiving himself with his own thoughts.

He wants Minghao to stay a little longer because Minghao is the comfort he has when he thinks about Bingbing. Minghao is the person who makes him happy when he’s down. Minghao is the person he wants to share stories nonstop. Minghao is the person he never knew he needed while he copes up. Minghao is the person… he created in his own mind.

“I…” Chengcheng tries to speak up in the middle of crying. “I… so this is how it goes, I guess. I’m just talking to myself all along. I thought I actually had someone to help me cope from all of the pain I’ve been feeling. Right, thought. It’s all in my thoughts. Nothing’s real. Thanks for the reminder.”

Minghao hugs Chengcheng tightly. “You have someone to help you cope all this time, Chengcheng.  _ You. _ You helped yourself for over a year now through me, I’m sure you’ll continue to help yourself in the weeks, month, and years to come. You have your parents too. They’re not yet dead, Chengcheng. You still have them. You have a whole life in front of you. You will heal, I promise that.”

“It hurts so much,” Chengcheng cries harder. “I thought I was over this. I thought I was starting to get better again. I… I’m still here. I thought I was able to move forward, but I’m still stuck. I miss Bingbing. I miss her so much, Minghao.”

Minghao can’t help but cry as well. He pats Chengcheng’s back to calm him down. “Chengcheng, I believe in you. I’ve seen you become better in a year and I’m proud of you. It’s not easy but you’re doing well. I’m sure Bingbing is proud of you while she’s watching you from above.”

Chengcheng doesn’t say anything and buries his head in Minghao’s chest. He silently cries this time, thinking about how the past year went. It was hard for him. It was hard to not have someone beside you that you can tell your day to. It was hard to not cry every single night whenever he remembers Bingbing. It was hard to accept the fact that Bingbing’s gone. But in a span of a year, he was slowly able to build himself again through Minghao - his subconsciousness rather. He was able to slowly cope from the loss. He was able to slowly feel happy again even in the smallest things. He was able to be alive again, literally and figuratively.

“This… this means I have to let you go, right?” Chengcheng asks, barely audible for Minghao to hear. “I have to let you go… because I have to help myself on my own, right?”

Minghao sadly smiles. “I don’t want to prolong your pain, Chengcheng. I want you to heal. I’m sorry if this setup took up a toll on you.”

“I’ll… I’ll miss you,” Chengcheng softly says. “And thank you for being with me for a while. I promise to heal. I promise to be truly happy again.”

“I’m glad you made that promise to yourself,” Minghao jokes. “I hope the day when you’re healed and happy comes someday. I believe in you, okay? You believe in yourself. You can do it!”

“Thank you Minghao, thank you for believing in me. I guess I really have to let you go now,” Chengcheng sadly says. “Can I have one last request from you?”

“Anything will do except for staying with you for a longer time,” Minghao jokes.

Chengcheng laughs a little. “No, not that! It’s hard but I’ve somehow come into terms with that. I just want you to watch over me as I fall asleep.”

Minghao smiles. “I thought you were requesting something more complicated than that. I’ll watch you laten, then.”

Chengcheng sighs. “I’m sincerely going to miss you. Thank you for being with me.”

Minghao only returns a smile like how he did during the new year, but this time it is a smile full of hope and encouragement for Chengcheng to heal and be happy.

 

* * *

 

 

Chengcheng woke up the following day without Minghao in sight. He felt relieved that he stopped seeing him but he didn’t deny that he missed his presence around. His surroundings felt quieter, making him take his time to ponder on the things he’ll do after letting go of Minghao.

It wasn’t easy, of course. He’d still hear Minghao at times but he only smiles. He just noticed how Minghao’s voice was similar to his, probably because he thought Minghao had a voice similar to his when they were still talking. He’d still think about Minghao sometimes, hoping that he would pop in from time to time. But that didn’t happen, and Chengcheng found himself more relieved with that.

He was slowly coping with Bingbing’s loss as if he went back to square one. This time, he was more dedicated to heal for himself. In connection with that, he stepped up and talked to his parents about the situation. He admitted that he was talking to himself as a way of coping from Bingbing’s loss, but he didn’t realize it until his parents were the one to notice. He was sorry for the times that he made his parents worry and he assures them that it won’t happen again. He also requested from his parents if he could leave their house for a while and travel to different provinces. He wanted to make himself distant from all the places and things that reminded him of Bingbing, as well as to find himself and what he should do in the process. He truly wanted to become better, and he thinks that finding something he loves will help him achieve that. His parents didn’t disagree, although they did worry that Chengcheng might start talking to himself again. He reassures them that he’ll be alright and he won’t let talking to himself get in the way of his healing. He also promises that he’ll be back on the first time the snow falls during winter. It’s ironic how he promises to come back when it snows when he hates snow, but that’s a part of him wanting to heal from the pain.

Chengcheng did leave their house at the first day of spring with enough pocket money and clothes to use until he comes back home. He traveled to different provinces in a span of around ten months and explored different lands and seas on the way. He mingled with the people he encountered and listened earnestly to their stories. He engaged in numerous activities, including island hopping and street performing.

And that’s where he found his passion for music.

He noticed that each province he traveled had distinct music yet seemed to blend so perfectly as one. He would ask the locals the genres dominant in their places and ask for song recommendations from them. He would also explore their traditional music instruments and play with them to listen the sounds they produce. Soon enough, lyrics were starting to form in his head. He would write these thoughts in a notebook he brought. His lyrics ranged from simply appreciating the beauty of the provinces to his process of moving on. He also wanted to buy equipment to compose music as soon as he goes home. He wanted to share something to everyone and he thought he would do that through music.

Speaking of moving on, he was slowly healing and he was starting to feel happier than ever. There would still be days when he would miss Bingbing a lot but whenever he does, he writes down what he wants to say to Bingbing in his notebook full of lyrics. Writing down his messages made him feel lighter, as if a thorn was being pulled out of his heart. He was also slowly accepting that Bingbing would never come back, but he would always remember that his memories with Bingbing will remain in his heart.

He would sometimes remember Minghao, and whenever he does he takes a picture of himself and what he was doing at the moment. There was even one time that he took a picture of himself scared when he was engaging in canyoneering. He thought Minghao would enjoy something like that activity since he’s very energetic, at least in his own perception of him. He also thought of compiling all the pictures he took not only for his own memory keeping, but also for the real Minghao to see… that is if he gets the chance to see Minghao in actual flesh.

Ten months have passed so quickly, and Chengcheng is back. This time, he’s so much happier than he ever thought he would be.

He called his parents a day before that he’ll come back since the first snowfall is approaching. His parents were happy he’s coming back because they missed him a lot. And even if they have video calls every other week, Chengcheng missed them a lot too.

Before he comes home to have dinner with his parents, he decides to stop by at the place where the accident happened. He wants to see how it after two years, and he’s surprised to see it different than it was before. Perhaps it might be because it was dark during the accident, but he thinks that the place is so much brighter now.

It kind of reflects how he is right now actually, which is a great thing.

He smiles. Two years have passed, and he’s glad he’s still alive. He decides to focus on that aspect instead of thinking about Bingbing’s passing. Thinking about how he’s still alive and how he has a direction in life now makes him so motivated to achieve his own dreams.

He goes inside the nearest coffee shop to buy hot coffee since he was starting to feel a little cold. He orders a hot latte, a favorite of his while he was travelling. After placing his order, he sits by the window and opens his phone to text his parents that he stopped by a coffee shop. He also checks news articles and updates when someone knocked on the window.

To his surprise, he sees someone familiar to him. He smiles a little, which in turn made the guy outside smile really big. The guy outside rushes inside the coffee shop and sits in front of him without any hesitation.

“You’re still alive! I thought I wouldn’t see you after the accident happened,” the guy from outside exclaimed. “You look happy! I hope you’ll always be happy!”

Chengcheng smiles. “It’s funny how I kept on hallucinating about you for a year to the point I thought you were my friend,” he jokes. “I’m glad to finally meet you in person,  _ Minghao _ .”

“You remember my name!” Minghao exclaims in amusement. “I thought you already passed out when I was approaching your car! Anyway, I’m really glad that you’re still alive! I hope you’re family is alive too.”

Chengcheng shyly smiles. “My sister didn’t make it unfortunately, but I’m sure she’s in a better place now.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Minghao apologizes. “You’re still here, and I’m glad with that. For some reason, I came back to this place last year to look for you. I’m also here this year to do the same thing, and finally I found you. You seemed someone I can befriend with so I remembered your face from two years ago. Sorry if that last part sounded creepy,” he says as he scratches the back of his neck.

Chengcheng laughs. “No, it’s alright! I actually wanted to befriend you as well if I found you in person.”

“So, I guess we’re friends now, right?” Minghao excitedly asks.

Chengcheng reaches his bag to get the photo album with all the pictures that reminded him of his  _ imaginary _ friend, Minghao. “Friends,” he says as he gives the photo album to Minghao. “And I want to share with you my journey of being a better person. It’s something I promised myself to do when I see you in person.”

Minghao opens the photo album and sees different pictures of Chengcheng in different places. Each picture has a date and a caption written. Some captions are general feelings Chengcheng felt when took the pictures, while some captions are things Chengcheng wanted to say to him. He earnestly reads the captions and flips the pages carefully. He enjoys seeing Chengcheng’s growth through the pictures in the album.

“I’m glad,” Minghao says after closing the photo album. “I’m really glad that you’re in a better place now. And I’m also glad that you’re able to find yourself while travelling.”

Chengcheng chuckles and smiles brightly. Looking back at where he was two years ago and where he is now, he says, “I’m glad for myself too.”

 


End file.
